How?

How? It’s the beginning of a question.

How can I?

How could you?

How can you?

Then there is why.

Why must we?

Why must you?

Why do you?

Suffering. How? Why?

These are the questions I ask myself this week. I shared with someone earlier that the one thing that I cannot handle is watching my children suffer. And when my family gets hit, it is so hard to rebound.

And yet, my son is suffering. And there is nothing-I-can-do-about-it.

We have seen every specialist. We have tried every medication. For an entire year, he suffered from extreme, excruciating pain. I’ve never seen anything like it.

For a whole year, we finally had him almost back to normal.

And then, this past week, he’s back where he was.

Why? Why must he suffer?

How? How can you allow this to happen?

Reactive Attachment Disorder. Otherwise known as RAD. It happens when a child has been so neglected that they cannot form a bond with anyone. And they target the one who is the closest to them. We have a daughter with RAD. And unless you have lived it, you cannot possibly understand what it is like for them…for the person that they target, and for the family that suffers thru it. The stress is unbearable at times.

Why? Why was this allowed to happen?

These are the things that run thru my head this week. We are about to start something radical; hoping it will change.

I will be journaling and trying to get thru it. Hopefully, it may help someone else. Maybe it will help me as I process.

In the meantime, I will continue to pray, and try not to be too upset with Him. I know that He understands suffering; I just don’t understand why it has to be my son; my daughter; my family.

Lord, help us to break thru…and do it beautifully.