As the months have gone by, everything has changed. You can fight change, or you can embrace it.
Control; you can try to control everything, or realize so much of life is out of our control; and then embrace that, too.
How does one react to the circumstances surrounding us? We can fight everything and everyone, or we can work together.
When my youngest daughter was home, everything was a fight. EVERYTHING! We fought over brushing her hair. We fought over doing her homework. We fought over brushing her teeth, taking a shower, leaving things alone if they don’t belong to her. We fought over our relationship, her imaginary relationship with her biological mom; We fought over her need to fight over everything.
I see things differently now. My eyes have been opened. And thru this process of long-term treatment, I’ve learned a few things.
It’s ok to ask for help.
I had to realize that her RAD issues are way bigger than I can handle. Way bigger than I can help her with. I can’t “fix” her, but together, we can seek out others who can help us along the way.
It’s ok to not back down.
When there are issues that need to be faced, it’s ok not to back down. They have to be discussed. They need to be brought out and talked about. It’s hard, but we can not possibly work thru things if we ignore them and let them fester. We can not move past our fears if we do not talk about them and learn how to deal with them; together.
It’s ok to back down.
When some issues are so hard and mentally and physically exhausting, you just can’t deal with it; it’s ok to back down. Bring it back to the table later. Let it go for a few until you are rational and emotionally strong enough to deal with it. Not everything has to be dealt with all at once. There is always more time.
It’s ok to be human.
My children need to know that I am human. That I make mistakes. That I can cry with the best of them and say that life sucks and that we can get thru this life of ours together. When they see the human side of their parents, they learn themselves that it is ok to not have it all together all the time. That’s how we learn. That’s how we grow. That’s how we move forward.
Hope.
We must have hope. Because hope allows us to look forward to the impossible. With hope, we just might be able to break thru it all; beautifully.
